Some Things I Have Learned From and About Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

September 19, 2014

Dear friends, family and constant readers,

I thought I would wrap up my recent writing on chronic illness with some things that I have learned in the last 13 years from my struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or have learned about the nature of the illness itself.  This is not an all inclusive list - merely some gleanings or insights that have been important to me in managing my illness.  So without any further adieu, my list:

* Modern medicine doesn't know everything

As I reflect on my own attitudes toward the medical community when I first became ill, I recognize a certain naivete that was present on my part.  I held doctors in great esteem, and their knowledge of the human body and what ails it as vastly superior to my own.  There was a clear hierarchical relationship which I presumed.  When you are sick, you go to the all-knowing doctor who provides you with an answer as to what is making you ill, then gives you a prescription for medication that will make you well.  While I still respect doctors and specialists, and continue to hold them in esteem for the work that they do, I have nonetheless taken them off the pedestal upon which I had placed them and see them as I do the rest of us - very human, skilled but not all knowing and sometimes fallible.  Because of my personal experience, I view modern medicine and its technology as still insufficient and, at times, rudimentary and primitive at best.  There are still so many illnesses and diseases which exist that even the most skilled and knowledgeable doctor doesn't have a clue about how to diagnosis, treat or potentially cure.  As one of my doctors put it, "Even the most modern of medical technology has not caught up with some illnesses, leaving us to grope in the dark at present."  In some respects, I wonder if our descendants will look back at many of our treatments for certain illnesses with the same distain that we have for the bloodletters of the 18th Century and before.  That said, I am glad that I have the doctors I have.  I do believe that I am receiving the best the medical community has to offer.  The problem is, that in my case, the best is still not good enough.

* No two cases of CFS are the same

Technically, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is not a specific illness.  It is a "syndrome."  This means that it is a medical catch-all for something not otherwise diagnosable.  As a syndrome, it is merely a collection of related symptoms which occur together in a non-random way.  This is one reason that it took me just over a year to be diagnosed - and why it takes other people many years to be diagnosed correctly.  I had a variety of symptoms that fit quite a number of other illnesses.  Those other illnesses had to be excluded by medical testing.  Once those other illnesses were ruled out, only then could I be positively diagnosed as having Chronic Fatigue.  Therefore what makes me a CFS patient is that I experience a cluster of symptoms which are very similar to other people also diagnosed with this disease.  But there is yet another complication - CFS does not present exactly the same in any two given patients.  We may have overlapping symptoms, but the way that CFS affects us would be unique to each.  Therefore the treatment plan will differ with each patient.  That is why it is very important that I work closely with my doctors and that I understand what is going on in my own body.

* Routine is my friend

If you were to live in my house shoes for more than a day, you would probably find yourself extremely bored.  That's because most of my days look very much alike.  I have discovered in the self-management of my illness that routine is very important to maintaining my health and general well-being.  If there is too much chaos or change, I just don't do well.  It's not an emotional reaction, but a physical one.  My symptoms worsen and I am overwhelmed by fatigue, making it necessary to spend a great deal more time in bed resting - something I really don't like to do.  So to avoid this, I stress routine.  I get up about the same time each day, eat at similar times with similar foods, take naps approximately at the same times, and go to bed roughly at the same time each night.  It's boring, but it works.  I have a semblance of a "normal" life when I maintain my routine.  When I can't or don't maintain this necessary routine, my life and health tend to spiral out of control.

* Just because I look good doesn't mean that I feel good

People with CFS are often told how good they look.  The assumption is that if you look good, then you must feel good and therefore are growing more healthy.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  As a person with CFS, I can rise to the occasion and pull myself together so that I appear rather healthy, but that doesn't mean that I am.  I am not healthy.  I am a person with a chronic and long-lasting disease that has ravaged my body and life.  People tend not to see those times when the bottom has fallen out of my life and when the illness is at its worst.  The reason that folks don't see me like that is because I don't let them.  I cloister myself at home, take care of myself and try to feel better until I return to a more even keel.

* Listen to my body

Since onset of CFS, I have become very good at reading and listening to my own body.  If I don't, who will?  I need to be aware of what I am feeling and experiencing so that I can deal with it before it deals with me.  For example, I notice that when I feel suddenly bored - unable to watch TV, read a book, surf the web, or write - that I am just very tired.  If I continue in my activities, the boredom and fatigue only worsen.  Therefore, when I feel boredom coming on, I recuse myself from whatever I am doing and go lie down.  That may be taking a nap or just resting until I am somewhat refreshed.  Once rested, I can resume my activities most of the time.  Another example is when I have cognitive issues.  I call these moments as having "brain fog."  I just can't think clearly and my decision-making is impaired.  The only recourse is rest.

* Get adequate sleep

One of the central issues of people with CFS is that the rest we do get is unrefreshing.  We may get 8 hours on a given night, but we may awaken feeling as though we haven't slept at all.  Getting the right kind of rest and sleep is absolutely essential to me.  Sleep disorders have plagued me since the beginning of my illness.  There have been times of way too much sleeping.  And times of way too little.  And even when I got the correct amount of sleep, it wasn't of the refreshing variety.  So I have worked with my doctors to achieve as restful a night as I can.  With the help of sleep medication, good ear plugs, a good pillow and proper mattress, and generally maintaining good sleep hygiene (i.e., no TV in the bedroom before sleep), I have been able to achieve a relatively deep level of sleep and rest much better than in the past.  It's a tricky thing to do, but is so important to how I feel the next day.

* Avoid stress

Any kind of stress - be it physical or emotional - can be a trigger for my CFS symptoms to flare.  My routine often protects me from stressors, but only so much.  I must constantly evaluate whether something - an event or activity - will cause undo stress and make me sicker.  Prevention is the key for me.

* Engage in moderate exercise

I confess that I live a very sedentary lifestyle.  I know that it is not good for me and that the long-term consequences may be very detrimental.  But the fact is that physical exertion can also be a trigger for CFS.  If I over-do-it with my activity, I can relapse quickly and be out of it for several days.  I realize that for my long-term well-being, I must stay as active as I can, but as in all things - with moderation.  If I feel up to it, I may walk around the block on a given day - or if I'm feeling really good, I may walk three or four blocks.  The length of my walk is not the measure of success, but the fact that I am able to get outside and walk at all.

* Stay healthy otherwise

Having one chronic illness doesn't mean that you are immune from other diseases.  In fact, having CFS may highly increase the chances of getting other co-morbid illnesses.  I know this because it has happened to me.  Because I have to deal with CFS and other medical complications, I must work to stay as healthy as I can otherwise.  I take the flu shot every fall.  I've had the vaccine for pneumonia.  I now eat very well and nutritiously.  I walk as I am able.  I go to my doctors at least every three months to be evaluated.  I take prevention very seriously.

* Alone, but not lonely

Community and friendship is important to any person with a chronic illness.  I can joyfully say that I have a number of important friendships in my life.  My connection with these persons is absolutely necessary for me to cope with living in illness.  Because of the nature of my illness, I am alone a great deal of each day.  I may go two or three days without seeing another human being, save my wife, Lynn.  Living that kind of life can be depressing in and of itself.  I have always needed people in my life, especially so now.  But I need people who can accept me with my illness as a factor in our friendship.  It was disappointing to me that a number of people whom I considered close friends disappeared from my life after I became ill.  I can only hazard a guess, but I believe that they were uncomfortable with my illness and were at a loss to know how to talk to me and sustain our friendship.  I can understand what they might have experienced, but I wish that they had stuck with me despite the awkwardness.  I could have really used their love and support.  But as I said, I still have quite a few friends who have indeed stuck by me through this awful and debilitating illness.  Each day I am grateful to have them in my life.

* Keep mentally stimulated

Because CFS has a detrimental effect on cognition, I must stay as mentally stimulated as possible.  I frequently find this in good conversations with others, challenging reading, maintain interesting hobbies and activities, writing these blog posts.  These sorts of things challenge me and also enable me to have the semblance of a normal life.

*  Be an active patient, not a passive one

I cannot stress it enough - be your own best advocate.  Take ownership of your health care.  Work with your doctors as a partner in seeking what is best for you.  Do not be passive or assume that because someone has a "Dr." in front of his/her name, that they have all the expertise and knowledge.  You must be the expert on your own life and health!

* Be flexible in planning ahead

As I mentioned earlier, routine is my friend - but that doesn't mean that I don't want to engage in special activities outside of that routine.  For example, I recently went to my 35th high school reunion.  It was important for me to go, but I knew that I had to plan ahead or else my symptoms would spiral out of control.  So I factored in appropriate time for naps.  I adjusted my medication times so that I could function at certain events.  Because I planned ahead, I ended up having a great time and enjoyed my visits with people I have known since elementary school.

Well, that's all the insight I have to offer for today.  I hope that this post, as well as my recent series on CFS, has been helpful to you in understanding what it is like to have a chronic and long-term illness.

To Learn More About Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, check out:

The Center for Disease Control - CFS

The Mayo Clinic - CFS

Solve ME/CFS Initiative

If you have questions about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or my experience of it, please don't hesitate to contact me!  Also, be sure to leave a comment on the blog's homepage at the end of this post.  I truly value and desire feedback!

And please remember to register for the Kindle contest going on this month.  A new Kindle will be given to an individual from among those who subscribe to this blog via email during the course of this month (September 15-October 15).  Also, for currently subscribed readers, there is a contest to win a $25 Amazon gift certificate for encouraging new readers to subscribe.  For more information and details about how the contest works, see this posting.

Cheers,

Stephen

My Very Own Personal Apocalypse, Part 3

September 16, 2014

Dear friends, family and constant readers,

In Part 1 of this essay, "My Very Own Personal Apocalypse," I shared the story of when I became ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and how it changed my life.  In Part 2, I shared with you the journey from becoming ill through the confusing search for a proper diagnosis.  In Part 3, I'll share with you how I was finally and properly diagnosed, and what it took to get it.

When last I left off, my friend and psychiatrist decided to refer me to a colleague who was both a practicing psychiatrist and a physician, believing that with expertize in both mental and physical illnesses he would be able to accurately diagnosis my malady.  This was in the winter of 2002.  I had been ill for approximately 5-6 months at this point.

An appointment with this new doctor was set.  Copies of all of my most recent medical records were sent to him so that he could review what had been done thus far.  His practice was affiliated with the Medical College of Virginia (MCV), which is associated with Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia, and considered one of the best hospitals in the Commonwealth.

I actually had previously met this new doctor.  He was a member of another congregation near my own, River Road United Methodist Church.  He had been a panelist on a congregation-wide discussion we had held on how to cope with the aftermath of the events of September 11th the previous fall.  He was affable and gregarious - very easy to like and trust.  In our first meeting, we reviewed my case together: the sudden onset, the continuing symptoms, medical tests performed to that point and the different diagnoses I had received.  He then suggested a new series of testing for both familiar and unfamiliar diseases.  This testing would occupy the rest of the spring and much of the summer.  

The pattern of this new testing was that I would go wherever he referred me and offer up some vital bodily fluid, permit myself to be poked or prodded or have some various organ or section of my body x-rayed or MIRed.  Then I would wait for the results of a given test.  In every single instance, the result that I would receive was "negative."  Test.  Wait for the result.  Negative.  Another test.  Another period of waiting.  Another negative result.  Etc., so forth and so on...

This left me with a sense of despondency that we would ever find out what was going on with my body.  I

clearly remember one day when I was being tested for multiple allergies at the Department of Rheumatology at MCV.  This doctor was an immunologist, who specialized in allergy-related diseases.  She tested me for various allergies by pricking my back with multiple needles (20 or more) - each a test for a different allergy.  After we waited the appropriate amount of time, she examined my back.  I could tell that something wasn't right by her expression - she had a wrinkled brow, for one thing.  When I asked her what she had found, she told me that the test must have been faulty in my instance because all the needle pricks were showing negative.  She then asked me if she could retest me.  That meant enduring another series of multiple needle pricks.  It wasn't without a degree of pain, but I reluctantly agreed.  She proceeded to test me one more time.  Once again, the results were completely negative.  I showed no indications of being allergic to any of the things for which they tested.  At this, my shoulders slumped and my voice cracked as I asked her, "Does this mean that I'm not really ill?"  She looked at me with a very serious expression and said, "Absolutely not!  It's clear to me that something is making you sick.  But it just may be that whatever that thing is, with our current level of medical technology, we may very well have no way of knowing what it is.  In another decade or so, we may look back at these very same results with new technology and see something obvious that we just can't detect today.  I'm so very sorry."

I returned to the doctor/psychiatrist who was directly my testing. He was completely non-plused. He had expected at least one positive result, but to have none was baffling to him - and to me. He had ruled out any psychiatric disorders as being the cause, so depression was taken off the table. And with all the medical testing, most other diseases had been excluded as well. He expressed a feeling that he had let me down. I assured him that no, he had not. He had done everything I could have asked. I felt that he had been extremely thorough. "So what now?" I asked. After thinking about it, he concluded that we wait for a few weeks or months to see how my illness progresses. If things were no better, he said that we would need to take our exploration to the next level. That would mean going to a research hospital, like Duke or Johns Hopkins. What I needed was a doctor and a medical community that routinely saw the non-routine. Maybe they could help.

So another season passed as I waited on my illness to make itself known. That November, near the first anniversary of becoming ill, my father died suddenly. I left for Kingsport, Tennessee, my hometown, to look after his affairs and see to his funeral. As it turned out, I was designated executor of his estate. That meant more trips to upper east Tennessee. I was overwhelmed - first by my grief of losing Dad, and then my the many responsibilities I had just been given, all the while my illness continued unabated. In fact, the stress I was under only served to exacerbate my symptoms. One night, I was sitting in my parents' kitchen, when I decided to call my wife, Lynn. That day had been particularly rough and I could hardly hold my head up. As I poured out my woes to her, I told her that I had come to a conclusion - it was time to go to a research hospital. I didn't care which one. But I desperately needed to see someone who could help me.

(Dear readers, I had hoped to finish this story in three posts. But as I write this, I realize that it will take one more installment to properly conclude my narrative. I don't like for my blog posts to be too long, so I feel as though I need to break this one up into two separate posts. Thanks for your understanding.)

Peace,

Stephen

My Very Own Personal Apocalypse, Part 1

September 10, 2014

Dear friends, family and constant readers,

A number of you have asked me recently about how I became ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Given the interest, I thought I would take time to share my story with you.

Unlike many people with a chronic illnesses, I can point to a specific day when I became sick.  In the Bible, one of the images used to describe the way the world ends is as like "a thief (who comes) in the night." (1 Thessalonians 5:1)  That image speaks to me personally.  For me, the beginning of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was like that - sudden, unexpected, a thief come to steal away my health, my well-being, my very vitality.  When that day came, my life as I had known it ceased to exist.  My old life was taken from me - and a new and strange one had begun.  Thirteen years ago this fall, I experienced my very own personal apocalypse.

When I awoke the morning of Saturday, November 10, 2001, it was a day much like any other.  I clearly remember how good I felt as I rose out of bed to greet the day.  I had good reason to feel great - I was in the best physical shape of my life.  And my life itself was both joyful and rewarding.  In my personal life and my professional life, I was living with the sense that everything was coming together.  But before the end of the day, it would all fall apart.

One of the reasons that I remember that particular Saturday is that it was the day of the annual Richmond marathon.  Lynn, my wife, was a participant and had planned to spend much of the day running those 26.2 miles around the city of Richmond.  My plans for the day included taking care of our five young children and finishing up a landscape project in the front yard of our church parsonage.

So that morning, I got the kids squared away with Cora and Hannah, the two older children, helping to look out for the younger three.  While they watched TV and played in the house, I went outside and began my chores.  For the second Saturday in November, it was an exceptionally beautiful day.  The sun was bright.  The air had a fall crisp feeling to it, but it wasn't cold.  It was a perfect day to be outside.

I had spent much of my off-time since June of that year outside.  On our property behind the house was a large patch of woods.  The undergrowth had been neglected for many years, so I spent that summer cleaning out the woods - getting rid of the bramble and poison ivy, cutting up fallen trees and creating a series of trails for the kids to be able to play.  I dug up piles of leaves which had accumulated over many an autumn.  Though I wasn't quite finished, I felt a great sense of accomplishment in the back yard.

Saturday, November 10, my attention turned to the front lawn.  I began my work about 9 a.m. or so and worked for several hours.  About an hour into my labor, I started to sniffle and my throat felt scratchy.  I didn't think much of it and dismissed it as a possible cold coming on.  Another hour or so passed when I began to feel my body ache.  I suddenly felt sore all over.  By this time I wasn't feeling all that great, but still I continued to work.  Sometime after noon or so, I began to sweat profusely.  It didn't take long for me to conclude that I was running a fever.  Since it was the beginning of November and of flu season, I thought that this was what was happening to me.  A reasonable conclusion, it seemed to me - all the symptoms fit: I had a case of the flu!

When Lynn arrived home from the race, the leaves in the yard were pilled up but not bagged yet.  I was sitting on the front steps of the house, feeling like a train had just run over me.  I told her how sick I was and asked if she would call someone to substitute for me in the pulpit the next day.  Then I headed to the shower to wash up and go to bed.

I was confined to bed for the next three weeks, as it turned out, with what I thought must been the worst

case of flu in my life.  For those three weeks, I ran a high temperature and sweat a great deal.  My throat felt raw.  My body ached terribly.  It felt as though my bones had been broken and my muscles torn.  But the symptom which stood out the most was the unrelenting fatigue.  I slept for the majority of each day.  I felt sleep deprived.  I just couldn't seem to get enough rest - no amount seemed sufficient.

By the end of those three weeks, the symptoms lessened in severity so that I could return to work, but they did not leave entirely - nor have they completely left me in the last thirteen years.  My new life was conceived in feeling that I would live every day of my life as though I was still just getting over the flu.  I felt like that at the end of November 2001, and November 2013.  I feel like that today.  I'm still living as though I have the "tail end" of the flu.

This is how my world ended.  This is also how a new, and very different one, was born.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Some Things I Have Learned From and About Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Cheers,

Stephen

My Actual Bucket List (Really!)

January 31, 2014

The past couple of days I have had a lot of fun posting what I would not put on my bucket list.
  Thank you for your wonderful feedback on both lists.  I'm glad I was able to give you a few laughs.

Today, I'd like to share with you what I actually would include on the to-do list for my life.  These are real aspirations that I would like to accomplish before I "kick the bucket," so to speak, given the right circumstances.

I decided to share this list of aspirations so that you might get to know me a little better also, and that you might share in my dreams a little bit.

Cheers,

Steve

My Actual Bucket List (Really!)

* Go to Rome, visit the Vatican and meet Pope Francis

I have wanted to go to Rome for many years now. I want to see it all - the Colosseum, the Forum and Palatine Hill, the Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, the Catacombs, the Apian Way, St. Peter's Basilica, the Sistine Chapel, the Vatican Museums... I could go on. But in the past seven months, since he was elected pontiff, I have felt a strong pull to see Pope Francis. Even though I am a Protestant, I love the message of good news to the poor than Pope Francis is delivering. Though I would be satisfied just to see him amid the crowd in St. Peter's Square as he speaks from his window in the Vatican. But, I must confess, that there is a part of me that wishes I could have a Papal audience with him and maybe, just maybe, receiving a blessing and a word for my healing from him.

* Build a log cabin in the mountains

When Lynn and I need a break from our routines, we often will make our escape to the Blueridge Mountains to the west of us. Last winter, we rented a log cabin near Crabtree Falls. It was an amazing weekend. Since that time, I have come up with an idea to either buy an old cabin or to have one built so that Lynn and I would have our own place to get away to. It would be lovely to have a creek or stream nearby as well.

* Live in England for three months (with at least a month in London)

Lynn and I visited England in the winter of 1992 and had a lovely time. We even rented a car, driving on the wrong side of the road in thick fog just to see the countryside. We spent a week touring the country and then a week in London. In the years since that trip, I have tracing my family's genealogy. One of my discoveries is that both on my father's and mother's sides of the family about 90 percent of my ancestors were English. I would love to see when my great-grandparents (several generations removed) lived. I admit, with or without the English heritage, I would still be an Anglophile - a lover of all things English. So why not spend a season or so there drinking tea, visiting ancient churches and looking up dead ancestors?

* Read the New Testament in Greek, and the Old Testament in Hebrew

When I attended Emory & Henry College, I studied Koine Greek, the common language of Greek in which the New Testament was written. I took Greek with my New Testament professor, Dr. Kellogg, a wonderful teacher and scholar. When I had finished all the Greek courses which were offered, I also took an additional self-study with Dr. Kellogg in which I translated the Book of Mark. It was a great experience and gave me a new appreciation for those who have translated the Bible in it's entirety. In seminary, I took Hebrew. It was not as easy or as rewarding as learning Greek, but I did okay. So with this background in mind, I would love to polish those language skills so that I could read the Bible in original texts - both in Greek and Hebrew. That ought to keep me busy for a year or two.

* Learn Latin (and maybe Chinese too)

I don't have many regrets in life, but I do somewhat regret not having taken Latin at some point. In high school, I took Spanish, which ended up being extraordinarily helpful when I served a multicultural congregation in a largely Hispanic community. But Latin is such a foundational language. It seems to me that one with a liberal arts education, Latin should be something essential to learn. So, one day I hope to fill this gap in my education. As Emory & Henry's motto puts it, "Macte Virtute" - "Increase in Excellence!" And so I will.

* Go to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York

Ever since I was a kid in Kingsport, Tennessee, I have watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I doubt that there has been a single year when I did not watch at least some portion of it. I've always

wanted to go and see it in person - to watch the enormous balloons as they make their way down 6th Avenue to 34th Street; to see the floats and the famous personalities they carry; and to hear the bands from all over the country play. A few years ago, my old school marching band was in the parade - Dobyns Bennett High School from Kingsport. I wish I could have been there that year to see and hear them in person. Maybe I'll go when they are again invited to participate.

* Go on an archaeological dig

I'm fascinated by archaeology, and not just because I'm a fan of Indiana Jones either. The idea of ancient civilizations and their relics being unearthed has always intrigued me. I would love to go on a dig in Northern Africa, the Holy Land, or somewhere else in the Middle East and be a part of history by searching for it.

* Visit all 50 states and each of the National Parks

I've traveled to nearly all of them already, but there are a handful that I haven't been to yet. I would like to complete the journey. In addition, my wife, Lynn, and I love our country's National Parks. There are quite a few of those that I have missed out on during my travels and would like to those which I have missed.

* Learn to play the banjo (finally)

Two years ago, I bought a banjo. Not just any banjo, but a Deering five-string Goodtime Special! It's beautiful to look at and has a gorgeous sound. It's actually the second banjo that I have owned. The first my father bought me when I was 15. I took lessons and practiced, but gave it up when I discovered girls at 16. So two years ago I decided to give it another try. I took lessons and practiced, but soon grew discouraged in my inability to play worth a hoot. I have come to realize that my timidity with this instrument lay less in my skill than in knowing what kind of music I wanted to play. I'm really not a bluegrass player. I prefer folk on the banjo. Now that I know what kind of music that I want to play, learning how is much clearer.

* Be a part of a flash mob

A flash mob is a group of people who gather together in a public place to perform some eccentric or artistic act for a few moments and then just as quickly disperse. I think I would like to be in one at least once in my life. I would like to participate in one which draws attention to a pressing social or political issue of importance. Text me if you know of one which is happening nearby!

* Be completely out of debt

After raising five children and paying for four of them to attend college (Abraham, our youngest child, has a football scholarship to James Madison University), let's say that the state of affairs with regard to our finances is at best fragile. As with most Americans, we just have too much debt. To be free of that burden would be cause for rejoicing indeed.

* Establish a scholarship for the study of politics and religion

If I ever came into significant money, the first thing I would do is as I mentioned above - pay off our personal debt. The second thing I would like to do with such a windfall is to establish a scholarship at Emory & Henry College to support a student who wants to focus on both religious studies and political science/philosophy. When I went to school there, I majored in religion, but graduated with actually more credits in political science. For me, these two subjects were not in conflict. They seemed to go together well. They both asked similar questions: What is human nature? What is the purpose of this life? How do you live well? I would like future students to have the same kind of experience that I had as a student.

* Adopt a yellow Labrador Retriever

We recently lost one of our beloved pets - our dog, Tip. Tip was trained as a helper dog and served my mother-in-law, Claire, well for four years. Last year, she had to give him up and so we welcomed him into our family, along with our other dog, Lilly, a beagle. Tip was such a blessed to Claire and to us. His unexpected death has created a hole in our lives that no other pet can fill. That said, once our mourning is over, Lynn and I may well have a new space in our lives big enough to welcome another dog. If that is the case, then I want that dog to be a Labrador Retriever. I would like to train him to be both a companion and to offer assistance to the disabled. Labs are such wonderful dogs. They have a great temperament. And they are very smart. I look forward to forming a new bond with a dog such as this.

* Catch a foul ball at a baseball game

I can see it now. I'm at a Washington Nationals baseball game in Washington, D.C. The Nats are at bat. The pitcher from the opposing team throws a ball toward home plate. The batter takes a swing and connects with the ball. But it's a foul. Instead of heading toward the outfield, the ball goes toward the crowd. Though many reach out to catch it, the ball lands in the hands of one, Stephen A. Rhodes! Count on it!

* Commit at least 50 random acts of kindness

I have been blessed by so many people since the onset of my illness, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, in the fall of 2001. I know how much a random act of kindness shown to a fellow human being can mean. So I intend to pay it forward and share the kindnesses that I have received with others.

* Bicycle through New England in the fall

I love New England. Lynn and I honeymooned there, mostly in Maine. So we have many happy memories of that trip, as well as others when her sister, Laura, was a student at Bowdoin College. But I've only been to New England in the summer. I want to go in the fall when the leaves are turning. What better way to see the natural beauty than by biking?

* Go to a Bruce Springsteen concert

With the passing of my musical hero, Pete Seeger, this week, I feel a sense of urgency to see his successor in this field - Bruce Springsteen. If Seeger has a mantel to bestow, I believe that Springsteen deserves to wear it. Bruce writes and sings, much like Seeger, of the things that affect the common working man and woman. I have all his albums, but have never seen him live. This is a must-do!

* Attend a poetry reading by Wendell Berry

The poetry of Wendell Berry calls to me and speaks of a love for the land than many an Appalachian intuits. Like with Springsteen, I have read many of Berry's poems, but have never heard him read his own himself. If I have to journey to Kentucky to do it, then I'm going.

* Finish writing my current book… and start another

I must finish my current book, "Confessions of a Second Grade Failure: A Memoir." Then I must start on my next book, "The Reluctant Ascetic: A Journey Through the Desert of Chronic Illness." When that is done, I'll start yet another...

* Make the New York Times Bestseller List in Nonfiction

I can't wait until the day comes when I open the book review section of The New York Times, only to discover than one of my books has made the bestseller list in nonfiction. If you are going to dream, then dream big, I say!

* And last but not least: Recover from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Amen.  'Nuff said.

Hello! My Name Is...

January 15, 2014

I must admit that I am generally not a big fan of name tags.  I prefer the anonymity of large gatherings of people.  I also prefer introducing myself to strangers.  It just seems more personal.  That said, there is much to be said for name tags.  It's an ice-breaker between strangers.  It gives another person permission to greet me by name.  It's an invitation to get to know each other.

Today's post is about this very thing: getting to know each other.  Many of you have already reached out to me through messages and email, introducing yourselves and offering reasons why you are following my digital musings.  All of these are greatly appreciated.  Some of you have connected with me because we are already connected - as family, long-time friends, friends of friends or as colleagues.  Some of you have a different kind of kinship with me in that we share the same illness.  Still others of you feel an affinity with me because I am a writer or pastor.  Whatever the reason, I welcome you to this new community and look forward to getting to know you much better.  It is also my hope that you will get to know each other in this electronic fellowship by making comments in the "Comments Section" of this blog.  You can share in each other's thoughts and reactions.

Stephen A. Rhodes

Even though this blog has been going for a few weeks now, I thought it was time to introduce myself to you - to tell you a little bit more about who I am.

I was born and raised in Kingsport, Tennessee, which is in the upper east corner of the state.  My parents were Jim and Charlotte (Hale) Rhodes.  Dad was from Scott County, Virginia; and Mom was from the nearby county of Wise.  I have one brother, Ken.

When I graduated from Dobyns Bennett High School, I attended Emory & Henry College, which is near Abingdon, Virginia.  I was a religion major, but I actually took more courses in political science.  Both were and still are areas of major interest to me.

After graduating from E & H in 1983, I attended the Candler School of Theology at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia.  I was a Woodruff Scholar at Candler and focused on theology, biblical studies and ethics.

I married Lynn Rasor in the summer of 1986.  She was the daughter of one of my college professors.  Lynn is a special education teacher, focusing on learning disabilities.  Together, we have five wonderful and inspiring children: Cora, Hannah, Sarah, Gabbie and Abraham.  They bring us much joy.

Our family (Summer, 2013)

I was ordained as a deacon in The United Methodist Church in 1985, and as an elder in 1988.  I am currently a clergy member of The Virginia Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church.  Since coming to Virginia in 1986, I have served four appointments: 1) first in the Charlottesville area; 2) Virginia Beach; 3) Northern Virginia; and 4) Richmond, where I presently make my home.

I came to Richmond with my family in 1999 to serve as the senior pastor of River Road United Methodist Church.  I had five wonderful years with that congregation.  But while I was serving there, I became ill with a serious and mysterious illness.  Later diagnosed as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, this illness has been a part of my life since onset in November, 2001.  In 2004, I became so ill that I had to take a medical leave from active ministry.

There is much more to tell, but I will stop here.  Feel free to ask me questions.  I'll do my best to answer.

If you would like to know even more about me, then I encourage you to check out my website: www.stephenarhodes.com.  More specifically, check out my "Biography" and "Vita" pages.

By the way, I intend to devote a future post just to what it means for me to live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Hopefully that will help those of you who have not heard of this disease to understand it better; and for those of you with this illness too, I hope my experience with this illness will speak to your own.

Cheers,

Steve

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